BATTLES OF THE “MINE”

Imagine, learning wisdom and humor from my toddler-two, although sometimes, there is no “fun” in the word funny!  

As Levi’s parents, we struggle to come to terms with the idea that our toddler just doesn’t get it – there is a saying “talk until the cows come home”, but he still does his own thing! 

How wrong I was, he does “get it” and right too.  Yesterday, at the doctor’s office, I felt so very proud of him – he was able to engage in play, without the “its mine” syndrome, as he allowed the other kids to engage in play without taking away any of the toys from them after he had only seconds earlier put it down, nor did he cry.  He did however ask, “what is he doing?”.   

He understood from our conversations, time and again, that toys do not automatically become his, even though he has access to it, as such, the “toddler property laws” were not expressed. I am surprised, as Levi is an only child, and apart from the pre-school environment, he interacts mostly with adults at home, to which he is allowed certain privileges, such as, having his own playroom, can create the possibility for him to be possessive of his “stuff”, as he has full reign over all his toys.  Nevertheless, as his mom, I am doing a “happy dance”, that my toddler is willing to “share” and more so, he can understand what belongs to him and what does not.  I am glad for his positive learning process, as there are times when he reacts negatively to the “Learning Process”, but as his parents, we do our best to encourage good behavior, so that it works …after lots of tears at times on both sides and prayers. 

Disciplining our toddler-two is not the easiest job I have ever had, as it is never-ending, as he puts us through a battle of wills – may the best of us win.  However, time and communicating with other parents, have taught us that punishing our toddler does not always have to lead to a spanking, as communication works, even if that means talking to him until he understands what he is doing does not please mom and dad, even if we get red in the face until he “gets it”, so that the hitting, the biting and the throwing things stops, as it eventually has or in most instances, reduced to a significant extent…nothing beats consistency. However, there is “power” in following through with the consequences, when rules are broken. 

As such, I have started the negotiation process earlier than usual, but I believe it works, as he often calms down, although not for a long period, but still, its progress and he respond in the positive. One such example is where I give him a “challenge” to stop him from consistently changing shows every five seconds on the computer or else I immediately turn off the computer amid the screams. He does not like this action, so he agrees by saying in a melodious voice “okay” …nevertheless, I understand that as a toddler, he would not have a long attention span, so as he forgets his side of the bargain, we go over the same routine a few times, until that chapter comes to an end.

All the same, dad and I, have learnt to choose our battles with our toddler-two, however, some rules are consistent and we understand that change is a process, so in disciplining our toddler, positive reinforcement is significant to encourage  his learning and to build trust and respect in what we teach him.  We reward him by acknowledging his positive actions and give him praise for getting it right, because he has listened to what we have taught him and as such, has exercised good behavior …sometimes!, which is not always rewarded in a tangible way, but lots of hugs and kisses works.   As his parents we try to do our part in the disciplining process, in which we note that some of his toddlers’ actions can be prevented by moving objectives out of the way and from his reach by reducing the clutter, as he is simply trying to understand his world around him and how things work – one action which has really been a great help, is nap time ...the world is a much lovelier, quieter and peaceful place to be in after a nap!